i've had 2 other blogs on this site and i just wanted to include what i wrote there in this blog since i'm actually keeping up with this one!!
Good and Bad, This is My Story
SheWalksByMoonlight Location:Matawan, New Jersey, United States
Thursday, October 20, 2005
a couple of months ago, feeling stuck, i emailed my girlfriend for some writing advice. in her response about her own writing struggles, she told me of her blog. i'd never heard of such a thing! (i'm no computer/internet genius, but, i do ok!)
finally, a couple of days ago, i got the chance to check out her blog and her site, and decided this whole thing is pretty neat! (yes, i said "neat!" no, i'm not that old, thank you very much! it's just the word that came to mind!) and since then, i've been toying around with the idea of starting my own, but, 2 things kept coming to mind as i "toyed!"
#1: what about protection against plagerism?! what if i unknowingly spit out bits of burried treasure here and there and someone reading blogs discovers it and and absconds with it on me?! after having that mild panick attack, i remembered the most valuable lesson out of all my college writing classes: the poor man's copy right! ok, that problem solved...
now, onto #2! who the heck in their right minds would want to read anything i have to say about anything?! (this is what plagues me through my writing! everything seems boring, ridiculous, too wordy, ill written, not as good as my favorite works/authors... you get the idea!) then i realized that i'd acutally be doing this for myself and i can't worry about what others may or may not think. (guess some of that cheesy self help mumbo jumbo's finally rubbed off on me... oh no!)
so, even with my personal critic chomping at the bit, here i am! i'm not sure where this journey will take me, but, you're welcome to come along! warning: i type without regard to capitalization as you can already tell! sometimes my spelling isn't too good (dyslexia'a a bitch!) and you'd better buckle up when you come along! this roller coaster ride gets pretty bumpy!!
posted by SheWalksByMoonlight
Thursday, October 27, 2005
my husband's asleep. the cats are asleep. i can't sleep. it's so very quiet this evening, too. unusual for a week night. not much traffic on the streets and the constant whine of fire truck sirens seems to have died down finally. (nearly every year once the cooler weather sets in and everyone begins using their fire places again, it seems the fire house across the street's working over time!)
anyway, we've found out we're moving. soon, we'll find out exactly when. (my husband has a 2nd job opportunity through which we will be able to live in a 2 bedroom apt., rent free). i'm excited and terrified, to say the least! maybe it's because i'm older this time around, but, when i moved in my late teens and early 20's, i never thought twice about it! now i sit here looking out my dining room window, thinking about all sorts of nostalgic and silly things, wanting to remember it all now that my time here appears to be coming to an end.
last week, feeling like a caged animal in our apt and craving fresh air, i sat in my garden during the afternoons, on a chair i've had for 2 years, in a garden i've kept for at least 5 years! on the 2nd day, i asked myself why in the 7 years i've lived in this apt., heck in the 10+ years i've lived in this apt. complex, why haven't i done this before?! i just sat there, letting the cool autumn air calm my frazzled mind. (of course, with all this rain we've been having, i'll soon need a small ark to be any where outside!) sunday i began to think of all the work it's going to take me to break the garden down, clean it up and out before we move. (should've thought of that before i got my hands dirty back in the day!)
and then a top concern came to mind: food! where will we get out weekend morning bagels?! our chinese food?! (that new place around the corner is excellent!) our pizza?! our subs?! (mike's is the best!) instead of having 10 food stores to chose from here, all within 5 to 15 minutes, there'll only be 5 where we're going within the same time frame! that cuts my shopping choices in half! you know how each store carries slightly different stuff, even stores in the same chain?! here i know exactly where to go to get anything i need - food wise, necessity wise, misc. & other wise!!
we also live within 15 minutes of a walmart, a barns & noble and 2 libraries! (you put me in a state i've never been in and i'll find a walmart! guaranteed! and the library thing is very important not just for books, but internet and printer access as well when your machines are on the fritz!)
and i finally like my pharmacists! after suffering at the hands of the devil's mineons at cvs for over 8 years, i started using my husband's pharmacy at the a&p last year and it's been smoothe sailing ever since! (a friendly pharmacist is hard to find! and i've got 2 of them!)
it's not just the material and convenience aspects of where we live i'm pondering. this town and it's surrounding area's have been home to me nearly 10 1/2 years now! when people ask me where i'm from, i don't say the town i was born and brought up in, i say this town!
no matter what the season, i know what it sounds and smells like here. the din of cars racing along the parkway 24/7 - the beeping of delivery trucks backing into the 7/11 - the train horns blowing as they pull into the station - my neighbors children playing outside in the court yard - the old bitty committe who gather on the porch in warmer weather to dish on anyone and anything - the hundreds of black birds who flock to the trees in the court yard every autumn and winter, 3 times a day like clock work (who also cause our cats to nearyl lose their minds every time!) - meets grillin' on bbq's spring to fall - garlic from the italian rest. - pork & fried rice from the chinese place - wood burning in fireplaces fall til summer - honey suckle from late spring to summer - car exhaust when there's a major back up on the parkway - salt and sea weed from the bay and creeks at low tide - cigarrettes and candles from my down stairs neighbors apt... it all smells so familiar to me. smells like home.
i can see the sun set every day from my kitchen window. how many people can say that?! how lucky have i been these 7+ years to be able to see it nearly every day? even luckier now that i realize how special that is.
don't get me wrong. this isn't like breaking up and suddenly forgetting all the bad things that happened. i've had some of the absolute worst times of my life here! abusive relationships, lonliness, isolation, no food in the apt., no $ for any necessity or utility, denied welfare and housing assistance, nearly evicted, getting sued... getting deathly ill and losing my baby (girl)...
but, since first meeting my husband last year, i've finally started having the best times of my life! this is where we've started out life together, had our 1st dates, our 1st kiss, spent our 1st holidays, we were married this past may one town over from here...
i've started taking pic's, at cheesequake state park, of my halloween decorations outside...
posted by SheWalksByMoonlight
Thursday, October 27, 2005
October is also Domestic Violence Awareness month!
i know it's a little late in the month for this, but, i believe this is as important as (breast) cancer awareness, if not more!
in the past, i've been abused physically, mentally and sexually in different realtionships. starting last year, i call and get help when i/we (me + husband) feel i need it. sometimes i go by myself, other times i go with my husband.
call 800-572-SAFE or go online for yourself or a friend. any kind of abuse is a painful, slow death which isn't necessarily cured just because the abuse stops. trust me, time doesn't always heal all wounds and sometimes you just can't do it on your own, no matter how hard you try.
i'd like to know where are the purple bracelets for this cause?! (if anyone out there does know of any, please let me know!)
and let's not stop here with domestic abuse, what about child abuse too?!
posted by SheWalksByMoonlight at 4:21 PM
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1:23 PM SheWalksByMoonlight said...
what does this have to do with domestic violence awareness?! absolutely nothing. i do not appreciate comments as superficial as this in regards to such a serious subject. to all: do not leave comments like this on any of my pieces. thank you. she walks by moonlight, 10/28/05.
Friday, November 11, 2005
this is going to be my last posting as "she walks..." as i've decided this name does not fit me, never has, though i have used it off and on through the years for other purposes. i'm going under a name that fits me better, though not entirely yet. a strong name, a name that is going to help me become who i really am. so long for now!!
posted by SheWalksByMoonlight at 11:41 AM
And so on...
Friday, November 11, 2005
Well, I wanted to use my Sex & The City message board id, SheWrites, but, alas, blogger wouldn't let me since that wasn't available, so, my official id for here is SheRites! But, I will sign off as SheWrites on my postings, not to ruffel anyone's feathers! I love the name SheWrites! It's a stong, powerful name that reminds me of who I really am and want to become and will give me the strength to do so! So long for now! -SheWrites
posted by SheRites