Monday, September 11, 2006

it's just as beautiful today as it was five years ago ~ sunny, breezy & cool. perfect fall weather. it's a bit eerie that it seems to be this way each year now on this day.

i've put out the wreath my ex rescued from a dumpster near ground zero well before the 1 year anniversary. it's hanging on a shepherd's hook on out our porch.

my mother thought i should get rid of it when my husband & i moved here, because it was from my time with my ex(boyfriend). i had considered doing just that but realized that what that wreath symbolizes and where it came from is so much bigger than something so petty as not keeping it because my ex brought it home years before and i just couldn't part with it. it goes out now for every july 4th and today's anniversary.

five years. so much is different for me now! this is the first time i am not in my old apartment, 13 miles north of here, for this anniversary. i am very happy about that.

i am still floundering & trying to find what's next for me. otherwise, i hope i am living a better life than i was five years ago today.

i am loved by and married to such a wonderful, beautiful, amazing, supportive man! i sit here listening to the spouses and significant others of 9/11 victims read the victims names at ground zero and i am so thankful i was given the time to finally meet up with my husband and be with him! my heart breaks for these people who've lost their loves.

that's one thing that hasn't changed in these five years: the pain i feel when i watch documentaries and footage of 9/11, the pain i feel on this day as i listen to the names being read & watch the tears flow from the mourners at all the memorial services.

is it ironic that such horribly painful things happened on such a beautiful day & that every anniversary of this day thus far has been just as beautiful as the first? is there a reason for that? or is it just a coincidence?

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