Monday, January 29, 2007

note(s) to self

from yesterday!

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 14:34:00 -0800 (PST)
so sad. im@a bar w/hubby & some of his friends-all of
my friends are sick or getting ovr being sick. i might
as well b here by myself.

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 15:17:07 -0800 (PST)
note 2 self, part 2! god i hate this alone in a crowd
feeling. it just magnifies all other crappy feelings.
thank god this doesnt happen much, if @ all anymore!
and while im not lonely love wise anymore, (though it
sucks not seeing hubby much w/his working so much!) i
am lonely friendship wise. my best friends & i only
get 2 c 1 another but once or twice a yr!

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 22:19:22 -0600 (CST)
note 2 self, part 3! it's 11:10pm now & hubby's asleep nxt 2 me. this
is 1 of those times i'd swear i was having another breakdown. i'm on the
verge of panick. i'm desperately sad, or lonely, i honestly can't tell
which @ the moment. memories r trying 2 get out of my subconscious.
will i evr not b plagued by depression & all it's nasty little ways?!


carolyn said...

Like the black clouds in the sky depression will float away to be replaced by sunshine. Always remember that.

GardeningJo said...

i know ~ it just gets to be a bit much when this happens on a regular basis - it's exhausting!

Donna said...

I understand the loneliness. The only friend I had as an adult moved away about 15 years ago...and I havent talked to her in about 9 years. I woudnt know how to find her now if my life depended on it. hang in there...things are going to get better.... I just know they are(they have to...right LOL)! :)

GardeningJo said...

i lost touch with a good friend in '98 or '99 and i tried EVERYTHING i could to find her in 2005, before i got married. but i lost the trail after the last place i knew she lived, finding she was divorced and not remembering her maiden name. i was so sad. but, i'm hoping someday we'll cross paths again! (her name was kristi winkler & when we were friends she lived in jamesburg, nj & moved to fl... she was from long island, ny and moved to fl in '98 or '99 - putting the word out just in case!

things are better, much better than they ever have been, it's just those pesky demons who come to haunt me from time to time that get me down! thanks for your encouragement! i truly appreciate it!