Monday, February 05, 2007

i just want to scream!

if one more person asks us "when are you going to start having babies?" or "why don't you have any babies yet" i'm liable to... i don't know what, but, it won't be good, i can tell you that much!

i've never, in my life, pestered married people with the above questions and i can't stand that people are doing it to me/us!

do they really want to know?! what if i told them we haven't had children yet not just because of my physical health, but that i'm absolutely terrified of the idea of raising children as a whole ~ that i'm terrified that i'll become deathly ill again while pregnant and we'll have to make a decision that no one should ever have to make, one that's devastated me for the past nearly 8 years already and i don't think i could survive again ~ that my husband is 10 years older than i am and he already works so much and so hard and is just plain tired from a long, hard & hard working life and i'm not sure it would be fair to him to start having children at his age now given how old he'll be as they grow...

i honestly don't know if we're going to have children. hubby's ok with it either way.

do they really want to know any of that?! no! so i tell them we haven't gotten the ok from my doctor's yet. that used to silence further inquiries but now they're coming from all directions and i'm sick of it! the question(s) hurt me so much, i wish people would just stop asking.

4 comments:

carolyn said...

I really feel for you, people were always sayinf to me "When are you going to have a girl?" as if I could just go and choose and it annoyed the hell out of me. I mean what a stupid question. I think some folk just don't think.

GardeningJo said...

shortly after i was hurt at work, people constantly asked "are you working yet?!" (the answer was and still is "no!" since my injuries only made my other health problems worse, to put it mildly). i still get that once in a while ("so, what are you doing now?!") but, now the questions have turned from work to children ~ it's as if i used to be judged on who i was by whether or not i worked - now that i'm married and not working, it's as if i'm being judged on who i am by whether or not i (we) have children!

both are ridiculous!

Donna said...

Some people can be so nasty rude...its a shame you cant just tell them to mind their own business. I mean, its your business alone whether you work or have kids...not theirs.

GardeningJo said...

i realize that people are trying to "make conversation," but...

i was not raised to judge others by what they have or don't have, what they do or don't do, if they have children or not, but that seems how a lot of society is nowadays. it's disappointing and demeaning.

(thank you for your support! it really does make me feel better!)