But I went on, during which she said "I don't sleep well, I haven't slept well in years" to which I replied "I know and I told you YEARS ago that something was wrong - I bought you "The Wisdom of Menopause" when it first came out in hard cover and you've never read it."
And then I went on because I'm tired of things about me becoming about (Mom) the other person. I told her that if there's a chance there's a problem with my hormones or throid and that I could feel a little or entirely better, then I have to explore this until I'm satisfied. I need to be as healthy as I can be too if we're going to try to have a baby! If this could help... I also told her if this is it for me and this is as good as I will ever feel, then I'll accept that.
She asked me if I think that I don't really have what my Rheumatoidologist says I have to which I said, "I didn't say that" to which she replied, "But if that's it will you still be considered disabled? Would you lose your disability?" to which I replied, "For crissakes why does everything with you come back to my NOT losing my disability?! If I ever become NOT disabled then yes, my disability would stop and I don't have a problem with that! Why do you have a problem with that? Why are you always trying to discourage me from things by using that as the "subtle" excuse? I'm not like other people who intentionally doop the govt out of money they don't need, but you are WAY ahead of yourself and that doesn't even need to be considered right now."
I KNOW BETTER. I do. But, damnit. For once I'd like to be heard and not discouraged.