What am I doing? WHAT AM I DOING?!
I'm talking writing here.
Why am I stalling?
Why do I just keep dreaming instead of acting on those dreams?
What's stopping me? WHY AM I STOPPING ME?!
I'm actually scared.
Apparently I can't just write whenever the hell I want to because I don't write often enough.
And I suck with discipline.
But I love to write.
So where does this leave me?
Changes and upheaval are abound. I feel myself heading into a tail spin. A bit of a crisis. An identity crisis? A writing crisis? More than one crisis is on the horizon here, I'm pretty sure of that much.
And this whole Sister-in-law thing isn't helping me right now. Or is that why I'm feeling like this in the first place? I feel like I'm counting down my days until her arrival in the back of my mind. I was looking forward to going down to Philly for the day, because, as you all know by now that I love Philly and any excuse to get me down there. But now even that idea isn't helping. Damnit.
Something positive: I added something on the subtle side to my header/banner above. It came to me last night while I was reading the new issue of Artful Blogging, always a source of inspiration and refreshment for me. Because that's what I've been doing, trying to do, for so many years.
(Stephanie Meyer never wrote anything before writing Twilight. From when she first started writing it until it was published and on store shelves was 2 years and 3 months. She only received 9 agent rejections, 1 who wanted to read more and 5 no replies. And of course there are the movies of at least 2 of the Twilight series. Watching her on Oprah today was not a good idea).