I'm writing to you, dear friends, as the sun sets beyond the hills that shelter and shadow us here at our coastal home. Yesterday, for the first time since Hurricane Sandy devastated NJ, things started to feel oddly normal again. Oddly normal because around us things are anything but "normal."
I'm still dazed and stunned. Numb.
But, there's more (along with being so thankful and appreciative of our blessings, which makes me feel painfully guilty given how much so many have lost) and I really don't know how to begin explaining to you how I feel.
Heartbroken? I'm not sure that covers it honestly. Or does justice to it all.
Sadness? I'm definitely sad, but I just cannot, as of yet, find any word or words that begin to express how I feel about what's happened to my beloved home state of NJ. It's more than just another case of marking time, "Before Sandy" and "After Sandy" as we all tend to do when unimaginable events change our lives.
Maybe this will give you an idea:
The place where Hubbs and I watched our first thunderstorm & waited out the rain together, where we didn't have our first kiss but our second, third & forth... Gone.
The place where he first took me out to dinner... Gone.
The home where we first said, "I love you..." Gone.
The home where we had so many very first firsts, mundane & intimate... Gone. (Granted it was his place and shortly after getting together he moved into mine, but still).
My favorite spots to stop and sit awhile at the harbor... Gone.
Our friends restaurant, in our sister town, a favorite breakfast spot... Gone. (Again! Hurricane Irene wiped them out last August & they rebuilt. This time they won't).
One of my/our favorite places in the whole world, especially in the off season (Autumn and Winter) the barrier island of Sandy Hook/Fort Hancock isn't gone but I can't even imagine when folks will be able to get on The Hook again.
Gone. Or forever changed.
So many memories. A lifetime.
So many tears.
I'm still shaking my head...
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®