Acceptance seems to keep coming up recently with respect to me, my health and my limitations. Funny how it sneaks up on you when you least expect it, but it's a welcome companion, bringing with it a kind of peace as well.
I may finally be getting the hang of this living with disease thing.
I made a difficult decision day before yesterday, but feel good about it because it was the right thing for me to do. It's often a position I'm in unfortunately, (not being able to do everything I want to do because of my health).
As much as it saddens me and despite only having attended my first meeting in April, I've left the Friends Of the Library (aka FOL). I am crushed with disappointment, but, the negativity that was hanging over my head because I couldn't be the member I had hoped to be was even more crushing and I just don't have room for that kind of negativity.
I wanted to tell them in person, but the next meeting is tomorrow and we'll already be headed south for some time away, so I sent an email on Sunday telling them that after much thought and consideration, I have come to the conclusion that I am unable to be a productive, helpful member of the FOL despite my best of intentions and wishes when joining, which is the last thing I wanted for the group, or myself and my morale. Because of my health and limitations, I'm more of an infrequent 'behind the scenes' gal vs being a 'go to/out & about' gal and I don't feel as though I'm a good fit for the group, which is energetic to a point I can only dream of!
I thanked them for welcoming me with open arms from the beginning and for their understanding. I also mentioned that of course I will continue to support our library, the bookclubs and the FOL in any way I'm able to as I've been doing right along because I love reading, libraries and our community!
I used to think that ole cliche of feeling as though a weight had lifted from ones shoulders was so corny, but, after clicking "send" on that email, I did indeed feel lighter!