Thursday, January 30, 2014

Epiphany! An Update.

Yesterday, I wrote about my recent writing struggles here and not knowing where it was coming from or what to do about it.

Yesterday afternoon, during an email exchange with bestie G, I had an epiphany, which I did elude knowledge to in yesterday's post, but it didn't hit me until I was hashing it out with G. As I read one of her replies, I thought to myself that it it feels like this writing block is final and something has died inside of me.

And then I thought of Ceasar kitty.

I stopped writing (again) to take care of him starting in November and cared for him right through New Years, until I had to have him put down on 1/2. And once we found out he had cancer and it was only a matter of time, it was awful time for me.

I'm in mourning.

I know 'he was just a cat' some would day but I was in my early 20s when I got him and now I'm nearly 40! (That's not helping the writers block either btw - I'm 16 months away from 40?!) Being home day in day out for years due to illness is lonely. My kitties are my companions. And I love them very much. He was one of my very first kitties and now all the boys are gone. I have my girl kitties, and I am beyond thankful for them, but, it's still so strange that all my boys are gone.

And my Ceasar was such a sweet and beautiful boy. I miss him dearly.

As much as I maybe should have realized it already, I'm thankful for this unexpected epiphany. It's helped put things in perspective.

Have you had any unexpected epiphany/aha moments of late? Share with me in the comments below!


Jess Michaelangelo said...

Such a hard thing to go through, to lose a pet. And truly a companion! I love this picture of him, he looks like a complete dear. I've been thinking of you since it all happened. Just know you're in my thoughts, and if you need anything, I'm only a message away!

Jennifer said...

Those are some seriously forming years between your early twenties and now almost 40. He was with you throughout that journey and now he is not. I understand why your inspiration would be lacking. I'm always having odd little epiphanies about why I do certain controlling little things, tendencies I'd like to get rid of like compulsive cleaning!