Friday, March 06, 2015

Living With Disease: Finding Comfort

I wish I could have stood in this spot, listening to the creek and basking in the late winter sun longer...

But, The Portable Homestead rascals were building a snow fort to my left and ever so inconspicuously chatting about whether or not I was trying to spy on them in their fort! (lol) So I moved along after taking this photo. 

I've been feeling anything but well all week, including today, and now on top of that I feel I may be coming down with a cold or another round of strep. I have been in A Lot of pain. A. Lot. Neck to toes. My first IV session since October is this coming March 31st, but it's going to take at least a couple of sessions to get back on track at this point.

But, I needed to be outside for a while today, despite the cold, and went around taking care of ice patches on the less than sunny side of The Portable Homestead. Some of the ice is so thick, the Marine will have to take of it later or tomorrow. I'm not strong enough physically, especially right now. 

I know, I know, I shouldn't have been shoveling or wielding an ice chopper, but, I so often feel like a burden, and sometimes I try to do whatever I can to help my dear Marine since he also has a FT job in addition to being the caretaker supreme here at The Portable Homestead. And I know I will pay for this outing (physically) dearly and for who knows how long, but, I just needed to be outside for a while. My soul needed it. 

I started physical therapy the last week of February to help me overall, post mono. I really like this rehab facility, the staff and my PT! I wish I had known about them sooner, especially after I herniated my back in September. The Marine actually started going there after being referred by his primary doctor for some pinched nerve issues he's having, spoke to them about me, and he brought me in for an evaluation. (In NJ, you do not need a prescription from a doctor for the first 30 days of PT in a year). My rheumologist and primary doctors are all for the PT as well, and since I'll likely be going for much longer than 30 days, that's a good thing!

It's going to be a long process, but it is already helping, which is a relief, and not just physically!

This whole mono experience, and now post mono experience, on the cusp of turning 40 (in 2 months and 2 weeks - good grief) on top of my other health issues has been so incredibly difficult on me (for lack of a better way of putting it) and I am completely and utterly out of sorts! Plus, some of the side affects from the mono are more than a nuisance: I'm more likely to cry at the drop of a dime than ever before, and I've been left with some food intolerance's, on top of the fatigue than can last up to a year, thanks very much! (Fatigue on top of chronic fatigue, and I wonder why I cry so easily these days?!) I am still trying to make my way out of the mono fog, as I call it, which is a maddening and frustrating challenge on top of the usual brain fog I so often experience. I don't feel quite like myself again yet.


It may not hold the answers, but getting outside always helps - helps my frame of mind and lifts my spirits.

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